Masculinity and solid appearance

• First, there is the idea that men are at risk because masculinity is a social construct that says that violence, anger, and hardness are the only appropriate emotions or reactions for men. When violence occurs in society, the media and society ignore the male element. They just think it’s natural.

• Second, as our society changed to a more urban and equal one, men were taught to fear women and to fear change. These changes have helped to popularize Western films and shows that have only been shown for about the past 75 years. However, when looking at the older tropics of masculinity, it is clear that the portrayal of masculinity in movies, sports, toys, and other fields has become more extreme.

• Along with changes in society, the recognition of women as equals and gay rights has changed. Fear of change in society is filtered through society and the media throughout society. Weapons are a symptom of fear of change. There is a siege mentality that promotes strong individualism and arms ownership as a way to resist, both literally and figuratively. Today, guys are taught that violence is the only way to be truly considered a man and maintain his manhood.

• Because the construction of our masculinity includes the idea that everything that is feminine is NOT masculine by nature, because the box that is acceptable to women has become bigger and the box that has become smaller for men. This includes belittling everything that is feminine or gay. And that creates a dangerous anti-female attitude.
• Finally, he concludes with the thought that we can all change our speech, behavior, and thinking a little bit. We can support movies that sincerely portray guys and movies that help expand the circle of guys.

Below are some of the sources mentioned in the film.

Jackson Katz

Jackson Katz, the narrator of the video, has his own website. Also here is his book The Paradox of Mach.
Here is what Katz will say at the TED conference:

Real boys; Saving Our Son from Childhood Myths, William Pollock’s Book. Pollock documents how, at a very early age, boys are taught to accept the traditional male traits of being tough and suppressing emotions.
The excerpt can be found here.

Based on William Pollack’s groundbreaking research at Harvard Medical School over two decades, the Real Boys are exploring why many boys are sad, lonely, and confused, even though they may look cool, cheerful, and confident. Polak challenges the common expectations associated with masculinity and masculinity that encourage parents to treat boys like little men, raising them through an intensifying process that evokes their true emotions underground. Only by realizing what boys really are, Pollack says, can we help them become more confident and gain the emotional proficiency needed to deal with issues such as depression, love and sexuality, drugs and alcohol, divorce, and violence.

Guyland; A Dangerous World in Which Boys Become Men, a book by Michael Kimmel. The Kimmel study is for children slightly older than the Pollack study. Here’s an overview of the NY Times.

Creating a disturbing social world in which men are now being created, Kimmel offers a look at the thoughts and times of America’s sons, brothers and boys and seeks to redefine what it means to be a man today and tomorrow. Only by understanding this world and this stage of life can we help young men draw their own paths, remain true to themselves, and get out of Guyland safely as responsible and fully grown men. Here’s Kimmel’s record after the Sandy Hook massacre.

Dude You’re A Fag, a book by sociologist CJ Pascoe. Amazon Summary: “This clever, insightful ethnography excels at high school and the complex areas of sexuality and gender identity. Based on eighteen months of fieldwork in a racially different working-class high school, Dude, you’re the devil re-illuminates masculinity both as a field of meaning and as a whole of social practices. CJ Pascoe’s unconventional approach analyzes masculinity not only as a gender process but also as a sexual process. It demonstrates how the “ghost of ghosts” is becoming a disciplinary mechanism governing heterosexual and homosexual boys, and how “wet discourse” is as much related to gender as to sexuality. their work.

Great posture; The Dilemmas of Black Manhood, a book by Richard Majors and Janet Mancini Billson. Here’s an overview from the NY Times;

While teachers, principals, and police officers often misunderstand this great posture as a provocative approach, psychologists who have studied it say it is a way for black youth to maintain a sense of honesty and quell anger when they are not allowed the usual path to respect. and good luck.

Leading men; Presidential Campaigns and Masculinity Policiesbook by Jackson Katz.

To Leading menJackson Katz makes the original and very provocative thesis that the presidential campaign has become a key stage in the ongoing national debate on masculinity, a kind of four-year referendum on what type of man – or one day a woman – embodies more than just our ideological beliefs. but our identity as a nation. Of course, this debate has a huge impact on women, both potential presidential candidates and citizens.

Violence; Reflections on a National Epidemic, Book by James Gilligan. Drawing on the direct experience of a prison psychiatrist, his family history and literature, Gilligan reveals the motives of men who commit horrific crimes, men who will not only kill others but also destroy themselves rather than lose their self-esteem. Gilligan has revealed with devastating clarity the role of shame in the etiology of murder and explains why the current penal system only reinforces it. It was a great argument, in the portraits of the horribly walking dead, Violence should be read by all those concerned about this national epidemic and its widespread consequences.

Richard Slotkin’s book Gunfighter Nation The Myth of the Frontier in 20th Century America. Excerpt from the NY Times;

According to Slotkin, the border myth, “the conquest of the desert and the enslavement or relocation of the American Indians who originally lived in it was a means for us to achieve national identity, democratic politics, an expanding economy and a phenomenally dynamic and ‘progressive’ civilization.” The main focus of this myth was the belief that “violence is an essential and necessary part of the process by which American society was formed and in which its democratic values ​​were defended and exercised.”

Book by Terrence Real I do not want to talk about it; Twenty years of experience treating men and their families have convinced psychotherapist Terrence Real that depression is a silent epidemic of men – men hide their condition from family, friends and themselves to avoid the stigma of “masculinity” of depression. The problems we consider to be usually masculine – difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behavior and anger – are really an attempt to escape depression. And these attempts to escape only hurt the people the men love and pass on their condition to their children.

Here’s Katzo’s conclusion from the movie:

Here’s a Katz poster that can be printed with Ten Things Guys Can Do to Avoid Violence;

1. Regard gender-based violence as a male problem involving men of all ages and socio-economic, racial and ethnic backgrounds. Look at men not only as criminals or potential criminals, but as authorized observers who may encounter abusive peers
2. If a brother, friend, classmate, or teammate is abusing your partner or treating girls and women with disrespect at all, don’t look the other way. If you feel comfortable doing this, try talking to him about it. Encourage him to seek help. Or, if you don’t know what to do, consult a friend, father, professor, or counselor. DON’T BE SILENT.
3. Have the courage to look inside. Question your point of view. Don’t argue when something you do or say hurts someone else. Try to understand how your attitudes and actions may inadvertently perpetuate sexism and violence and work to change them.
4. If you suspect a close woman is being abused or sexually abused, gently ask if you can help.
5. If you are or have been emotionally, psychologically, physically, or sexually abusive, seek professional help NOW.
6. Be an ally to women who are working to end all forms of gender-based violence. Support the work of women’s centers on campuses. Attend Take Back the Night rallies and other public events. Collect money for community rape crisis centers and beaten women’s shelters. If you belong to a team, fraternity, or other group of students, organize a fundraiser.
7. Acknowledge and speak out against homophobia and gay deception. Discrimination and violence against lesbians and gays is unfair. This abuse also has direct links to sexism (e.g., the sexual orientation of men who speak out against sexism, the conscious or unconscious strategy to silence them, is often questioned. This is the main reason why few men do so).
8. Attend programs, courses, watch movies, and read articles and books about multicultural masculinity, gender inequality, and the root causes of gender-based violence. Educate yourself and others about how greater social forces affect conflicts between individual men and women.
9. Don’t fund sexism. Refuse to buy any magazine, rent a video, subscribe to any website, or buy music that portrays girls or women in a sexually degrading or offensive form. Protest sexism in the media.
10. Advise and teach young boys how to be men so that girls and women are not humiliated or raped. Volunteer to work with gender-based violence prevention programs, including anti-sexualism programs for men. Follow the example