Stand up for yourself when people cross boundaries

Stand up for yourself when people cross boundaries
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You are your own superhero

If you are waiting for that one amazing person who will protect you from harm, stand up for your feelings and maintain order in your life when everything goes wrong, all you have to do is look in the mirror. You are the only superhero truly up to the task. You should stand up for yourself. And if you think you can’t, think again!

Listen to your distress signal

You may think that the person you’re dealing with has your best interests at heart, but if they’re pushing you in one direction or another or just pushing you away, chances are they’re not. You can’t count on them to be your superhero because what they’re doing doesn’t make you feel good, intentional or not.

Therefore, it is important that you tune in to your own emotions and experiences. Think about how often these negative encounters happen and how bad they make you feel. Accidental harassment is one thing, but if someone is intentionally or repeatedly distressing you, then it’s time to speak up. If you’re having trouble identifying your feelings, turning to your spiritual practices—be it meditation, tarot, or other personal rituals—can help you get in touch with your deeper emotions.

Check the evidence

If you want to stand up for yourself, you must first check the facts. Think about the moment that person made you feel bad. what did they say How did you react? What could each of you have done differently? Sort your thoughts. If you can, it might be helpful to record your analysis in a journal or on a piece of paper. When you’re done, choose a time to confront that person.

State your case

If someone is an idiot, you definitely need to point it out to them — especially if they’re an important part of your life. Tell them how their actions or words made you feel and give them specific examples. Then tell them how you think they could have handled the situation better. This is important – they need to know that they hurt you, but they also need to know what you would have expected of them instead. If you stand up for yourself, you have to set clear boundaries. Tell that person what behaviors and actions you absolutely disagree with, and if they love and respect you, they probably won’t do it again.

Listen to their side

There are two sides to every story, so give your interlocutor a chance to explain their point of view. Really listen to what they have to say. You don’t have to be a bully to stand up for yourself, and listening to the opposite perspective can help you find a compromise. It’s not about winning or belittling the other person – it’s about understanding the other and developing a healthy respect for one another.

Assess the damage

At this point, the other person will either hit back or apologize. If they refuse to admit that they may have done something wrong and instead push you even harder, then you have a real problem and you might want to consider ending your relationship with that person. However, if they apologize immediately and want to reach a middle ground, you have a strong foundation to work from. There are people who are not willing to show respect to others. Unfortunately, when you’re dealing with someone like that, you can stand up for yourself as much as you want – it’s not going to make your relationship any better.

Treat yourself better

Believe it or not, the way you treat yourself plays a big part in how others treat you. If you don’t respect yourself, others are less likely to respect you. For example, if you beat yourself up over minor mistakes, you’re more likely to accept it when others are overly critical of you, and if you feel unworthy of a good relationship, you’re less likely to end up in one. In short, you teach people how to deal with you and standing up for yourself builds your worth and self-esteem. So if someone treats you badly, bring it up. If they treat you well, reward them with affection and attention.

It is important to stand up for yourself

Remember, you are your ultimate superhero. Stand up for yourself and show people you deserve respect and more. If you don’t stand up for yourself, who will?

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