Toxic positivity hinders improvement
Let’s talk about accountability this week. In particular, let’s talk about prioritizing responsibility over convenience. Most people probably know what toxic negativity is. Toxic negativity occurs when someone tries to bring us down; when they try to make us feel guilty or change our reality for the worse.
This is undoubtedly terrible, but the other side of the coin can also be bad. Sometimes people can slip into what is called “toxic positivity.” Toxic positivity also attempts to alter our reality, but instead of driving us to self-doubt, it risks making us self-righteous. It can be tempting to surround ourselves with people who support us unconditionally, but the truth is, we all need a call from time to time.
Ultimately, toxic positivity seeks to minimize problems rather than solve them. That might not sound bad, but sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better. Sometimes we need to face hard truths and hold ourselves and others accountable, even at the expense of personal comfort.
Saturday June 11th
“Reality wins, and I’d rather see the truth than fall in love with a fantasy.”
– Jewel
As hard as it may be to face difficult truths, the only way to move forward is to face things head-on. Try to be on the lookout for anything in your life today that you need to admit to yourself. Last but not least, remember to acknowledge that there are still aspects of your life that you can work on. Everyone is in the works.
Sunday June 12th
“Don’t lie to protect my feelings. I’d rather you speak the truth with love and respect. I’ll be fine!”
– Izey Victoria Odiase
Kindness is important and should be present in every relationship. However, sometimes it’s nice to hold people accountable. Sometimes it’s nice to get the opportunity to grow, improve, deepen connections, and change.
Monday 13 June
“Courage is the decision to show up and listen to another person, be it a loved one or a perceived enemy, even when it’s uncomfortable, painful, or the last thing you want to do.”
– Alaric Hutchinson
It can be painful to hear the truth. At best, we can see this information as a form of kindness from a trusted friend. However, sometimes it comes from someone we don’t like or worse, someone we distrust. It can be tempting to dismiss these things as cruelty—the words of someone who doesn’t know you at all. However, today challenge yourself to look for seeds of truth even in the things you don’t want to hear. Take a good look and think about yourself.
Tuesday 14 June
“It is wrong and immoral to escape the consequences of one’s actions.”
– Mahatma Gandhi
To err is human, and we all find ourselves at the wrong end of an argument or interaction at one point or another. There’s nothing wrong with being wrong. However, when you don’t take responsibility for yourself or try to escape the consequences of your actions, things become more questionable. You don’t have to try to fix it right away. In fact, it can even be healthy to take your time before replying or reacting. Just remember – it’s also healthy to face the music, admit it, and move on.
Wednesday June 15th
“The right and the difficult are usually the same.”
– Steve Maraboli
Sometimes the idea of putting more on your plate can feel overwhelming. It’s been a wild few years for everyone, and the idea of overcoming additional difficulties may not sound appealing. However, it’s also one of the most helpful things we can do to pull ourselves out of these dark places and closer together. The more we understand ourselves, the better we can understand others.
Thursday, June 16th
“When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and abused. Because of that, sometimes we attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a decision.”
– Brene Brown
Even in an emotionally mature and friendly conversation, it can be difficult to set boundaries. It’s ultimately about us and not the people we’re addressing, but that doesn’t always come across. It can feel personal even when it’s not. In addition to setting your own boundaries, work on understanding why others may be setting their boundaries.
Friday June 17th
“You don’t have to worry about burning bridges when you build your own.”
– Kerry E. Wagner
This is a fascinating quote with multiple interpretations. One such interpretation is that it’s okay to destroy your old way of doing things as long as you’re willing to offer or forge a new way. If you set a hard limit, for example, it kind of burns a bridge. But if done with respect and caring for the other person, solutions can also be offered. You can break the “bridge” of being the person everyone piles their trauma on, but you can build a new bridge by showing others the weight of their words and directing them to people who can help.
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