Watch your relationship grow
Relationships—platonic, romantic, or familial—are a fundamental part of the human experience. However, it can be difficult to figure out the dynamics and interpersonal cues within a relationship. Not only that, but it can be difficult for people to figure out what they want themselves, especially when it comes to a potential romance.
Because of the complexity of this topic, you should give yourself time and space to process your emotions before making any decisions about what you want to do in a relationship. This will help you feel grounded and secure about your choice, no matter what it is.
As you consider whether you’re ready to move on, look out for these signs.
Sign number 1: You want more
As you might imagine, one of the most important things to look for when examining a relationship is whether or not there is a desire for more. It is worth noting, however, that this does not just mean “more” intimacy. This also means more time, more commitment, more shared space and more resources, among other things.
However, want more does not matter unless the current expectations and commitments of all stakeholders are already being met by all stakeholders. Taking a relationship to the next level doesn’t magically change anyone’s personality or relationship style. The point here is to make sure you want all of the changes and increased connection that come with entering a new phase in a relationship. This requires an already stable foundation and will not solve any existing problems.
Sign number 2: You feel safe
If the relationship makes everyone involved feel safe, stable, and protected, that’s a good indicator that they can handle the transition to the next level. This may sound obvious, but it’s a fundamental part of any strong relationship, and far too often people overlook it. Does your partner ever have moods or outbursts that make you wonder what they’re going to do next? Have they ever done anything that scared you? All too often, such experiences are swept under the rug in the belief that they are isolated cases. However, most of the time when these negative reactions occur, you are actually seeing how your partner is reacting to stress. It’s not a good idea to deepen a relationship with someone who’s behaving in ways that make you feel threatened or unsafe.
Sign number 3: They trust each other
This is another sign that may seem obvious but also tends to fly under the radar. When a relationship is ready to move to the next level, honesty feels safe and is an easy expectation – from both sides. Do you sometimes wonder if your partner is telling you the truth? Do you feel comfortable being truly and completely honest with them? If you are unsure, try to tune in physically. Your body can tell you the truth even when your mind is reeling.
Sign number 4: You hold yourself accountable
In a relationship, especially a serious one, it’s important that everyone involved knows how to own their actions and is willing to admit mistakes and acknowledge what they could have done better. Both members of the relationship should feel comfortable apologizing when they screw up.
Sign number 5: They share similar values
You and your partner don’t have to agree on every single thing, but for the health and longevity of the relationship, it’s a good idea to step up and make sure you agree on most or all of the big issues — the things that speak to basic moral and philosophical beliefs. Otherwise, as your relationship deepens, you could experience a split that increases tension in the relationship and ultimately leads to both people being unhappy.
Sign Number 6: You like the physical elements
Unless the relationship in question is all about physical intimacy, taking your relationship to the next level won’t be all that likely to affect the way you and a partner interact. If you feel like you’re not getting enough physical affection (or the right kind of physical affection) from your partner, simply taking your relationship to the next level will not fix any deficiencies. Be sure to address this issue first, and then Discuss escalating issues.
Sign number 7: You are both independent
Many people think that couples should do absolutely everything together. But actually it is more important that everyone involved has at least one activity, preferably several, that they do without their partner. These can be hobbies, self-care routines, or platonic hangouts, among many other options. These things are supposed to be fun, so your job doesn’t meet that requirement. It’s okay to do activities with your partner (vital, in fact), but you both should be able to do things you enjoy without the other being around. By maintaining a degree of personal autonomy, you protect yourself from falling into a state of unhealthy codependency.
Take things at your own pace
Of course, no person – and therefore no relationship – is perfect. Nobody goes through life without making a few mistakes. These signs should be things that you hope to reflect most or all of the time in your relationship. Note, however, that sign 2, safety, has no “most of the time”. If you don’t feel 100% secure, leave the relationship altogether.
You can use the above indicators to make your decision, but remember that this decision requires diligent action as well as your partner’s approval. Furthermore, there is no obligation to take things to the next level even if all the above indicators are met. You and your significant other can take things as fast or slow as you are both comfortable with. As long as your happiness together is paramount, you can find a satisfying way forward.
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